Friday, December 31, 2004

Sebuah Cerita di Tahun Baru

Mumpung lagi mo taun baru, gue mo share dikit ni satu pengalaman ke elo-elo pada. Jadi gini ceritanya.

Beberapa bulan yang lalu, gue lagi suka sama satu co. Cuman gue ga tau gimana perasaan dia ke gue. Kadang kok kayanya dia perhatian banget, kaya ngasi harapan gitu. Tapi ga jarang juga keliatannya dia ga ada perasaan apa-apa sama gue. Wah sengsara banget lho digantungin gitu, emangnya gue karet apa ditarik ulur. Kadang rasanya pengen banget nabok dia! Hehehehe....

Yah sebenernya si temen-temen gue di sini pada bilang dia itu kayanya suka ma gue, tapi karena dianya ga maju-maju, mereka semua nyaranin harusnya gue yang ambil langkah duluan. Cuman ya namanya orang lagi suka, kan mata hati dan pikiran jadi burem gitu. Hehehehe... Pokoknya jadi ga PD de, apalagi harga diri gue juga tinggi. Gue pikir harusnya co yang jalan dulu. Lagian kalo gue sampe ngomongin perasaan gue ke dia, trus ternyata dianya ga suka, mo ditaro di mana ni muka??? Gue juga takutnya dia ntar malah ngejauhin gue. Tapi lama-lama engga tahan juga si, akhirnya gue tetepin batas waktu, gue akan nyatain perasaan gue ke dia tanggal 31 Desember pukul 23.59. Nah lho? Hehehehhe.... Pokoknya pas taon baru kalo engga ada kemajuan apa-apa, gue akan nyerah.

Akhirnya si rencana itu batal, gue ga harus ngapa-ngapain ntar malem plus gue juga ga harus menyerah. Karena pada akhirnya suatu hari setengah jam sebelom tengah malam dia bilang kalo dia suka ma gue. Lalu hampir seminggu kemudian kita officially jadian de. Hehehehe....

Nah, sekarang di sini ni poin pentingnya. Tadi pas gue lagi cuci piring sendirian, tiba-tiba jadi keinget hal itu, tentang deadline yang gue tetepin. Gimana ya kalo seandainya dia ga ngomong apa-apa sampe sekarang? Apa nasibnya perasaan gue ini? Waktu netepin deadline, gue juga ga kepikiran kalo itu tu taon baru, kemungkinan besar dia pergi liburan, jadi ga bisa ketemu ataupun ga bisa chatting. Gue jadi kepikiran, seandainya sampe sekarang kita tetep temen gitu-gitu aja, dan keadaannya ya kaya sekarang ini. Dia pergi liburan ke luar kota, ditelpon ga ada, HP juga ga punya, trus gue nungguin di depan kompie seharian dengan harapan dia akan online sebentar aja, tapi itu ga akan mungkin sebab dia lagi ada pesta hitungan mundur taon baru bareng temen-temennya. Trus mungkin pada taon baru ini gue akan kecewa, atau mungkin nangis, karena itu tandanya gue harus mundur, karena gue berpikir ga ada harapan, dan gue udah pasti akan menyerah. Kemungkinan besarnya lagi, gue akan punya penyesalan di masa mendatang, karena gue akan terus bertanya-tanya apa ya yang akan terjadi seandainya gue nyatain perasaan ke dia dari dulu-dulu? Seandainya gue ga ngulur-ngulur waktu untuk bilang, apa ada kemungkinan kita bisa jadian? Lebih parahnya lagi pada saat dia lulus dan ketauanlah kalo dia juga sebenernya suka ma gue, tapi kita ga bisa jadi karena udah waktunya buat dia untuk pergi, gue pasti akan MENYESAL sebesar-besarnya karena gue uda ngelepasin suatu kesempatan langka. Dan pasti akan ada seribu seandainya-seandainya yang lain...

Nah, pesen yang mo gue sampein si gini. Kalo sekarang elo lagi mendem perasaan yang dalam ke seseorang, apalagi kalo uda lama banget, ada baiknya jangan menunggu, tapi kasi tau ke orang itu. Soalnya, siapa yang tau kalo ternyata besoknya elo berdua harus pisahan, ga bisa ketemu lagi gitu. Sapa tau dia juga suka ma elo? Kalo ga ada yang nyoba memulai, gimana bisa tau akhirnya gimana? Kalo emang berhasil sama-sama suka, ya baguslah. Kalo ternyata dianya ga punya perasaan yang sama kaya elo, kan bisa tetep jadi temen, trus malah bagus kan jadinya engga gantung. Elonya juga jadi bisa nyari yang laen =P walopun mungkin susah untuk ngelupain dia. Lalu, kalo dianya malah jadi ngejauhin elo? Ketauanlah kalo dia bukan tipe temen yang bae, apalagi cocok jadi pacar lo, soalnya digituin aja udah menjauh. Pokoknya intinya, jangan sampe ada penyesalan.

OK, itu aja deh kisah klasik di taon baru. Hehehehe... Semoga taon baruannya menyenangkan! GBU!

Monday, December 27, 2004

Condolence for the Earthquake Casualties

Turut berdukacita atas segala kehilangan, baik materi maupun korban jiwa, yang diakibatkan oleh gempa bumi di beberapa tempat di Asia Tenggara. Semoga mereka semua diterima di sisi Tuhan Yang Maha Esa, dan keluarga beserta teman-teman yang kehilangan tetap tabah dalam menghadapi situasi ini.

The earthquake which happened in several places in Southeast Asia certainly was catastrophic. The first time I heard about the news, the total of the death losses in Indonesia was 683 people, but today the total increased to more than 5,000 people and it is estimated that it would step-up until more than 10,000 people. If we sum the total losses in all of the places, maybe it would be more than 25,000 people. I'm really sorry to hear the news, but all I can do is just praying...

Monday, December 13, 2004

Love : Chance or Choice?

I found a good writing about Love from Friendster. Special thanks to Ms. NN for posting this on the Bulletin Board.

When we meet the right person to love, when we're at the right place, at the right time, that's chance.

When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice. That's chance.

Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together because of this) is not a choice. That's also a chance.

The difference is what happens afterward. When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level? That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling. If you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that's not a chance. That's choice.

When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that's choice.

Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same, that's choice.

Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice. A choice that we make.

Regarding soul mates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this : "Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen."

I do believe that soul mates do exist. That there is truly someone made for you. But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not.

We meet our soul mates by chance, but love is a choice we make.

It does not matter how to find someone perfect to love, but how to love someone imperfect perfectly.

Thursday, December 9, 2004

Tentang Seseorang

Today's song reflects my mood right now: extremely bored. Tentang Seseorang by Dian Sastro, an original soundtrack of Ada Apa Dengan Cinta. I pick Dian Sastro's version: the one with the poem, not Anda's version.



Kulari ke hutan kemudian menyanyiku
Kulari ke pantai kemudian teriakku
Sepi... sepi dan sendiri aku benci
Ingin bingar aku mau dipasar
Bosan aku dengan penat
Enyah saja engkau pekat
Seperti berjelaga jika kusendiri
Pecahkan saja gelasnya biar ramai
Biar mengaduh sampai gaduh
Ada malaikat menyulam jaring laba-laba belang di tembok keraton putih
Kenapa tak goyangkan saja loncengnya biar terdera
Atau aku harus lari ke hutan belok ke pantai

Bosan aku dengan penat
Dan enyah saja kau pekat
Seperti berjelaga jika kusendiri

Tuesday, December 7, 2004

Sebuah Karya Tentang Hati

Aku ingin terlepas dari perangkap masa lalu, dari segala sakit dahulu kala, karena aku tau manusia hidup pada saat ini, bukan yang dulu, dan bukan di masa depan.

Aku baru menyadari, kalau ternyata aku masih sama seperti dulu, tak pernah berubah, tak pernah dewasa, dan tetap seperti anak kecil. Semua kebaikan dan pujian selama ini hanyalah fana, bukan kenyataan yang selama ini terpikirkan. Semua orang hanya tertipu, aku pun juga tertipu. Tertipu oleh bayang-bayang dari kepribadian yang lain, yang muncul sejak aku melangkah keluar dari cangkang abadiku dan menjejakkan kaki di luar angkasa.

D, lepaskan aku dari cengkeraman traumamu, karena hal itu hanyalah menimbulkan luka bagi diriku dan dirinya. Maaf, tak pernah aku bermaksud untuk menyakiti seseorang, tapi aku telah menyakiti hati itu. Hati yang berusaha menenangkan, tetapi awanku telanjur gelap, tertutup oleh bayangan masa lampau.

Maaf, seribu kata pun akan kutulis. Aku akan berusaha untuk percaya.... Aku ingin berubah menjadi lebih baik...

Sunday, December 5, 2004

My High School Days

After three years being there, I finally graduated from my senior high school. I still remember the time being a first year student, I was bullied by the seniors. I had to find their personal data and do their assignments, was not allowed to walk on some specific streets and corridors, and many more. Furthermore, I had a big fight with the entire class except a small group of friends, which actually was a misunderstanding caused by some annoying 'parasites'. At that time I wondered everyday if I could survive there, but I managed to 'stay alive' and pass to the second year.

In the second year everything got better. I got into a lively class and had some very nice friends. We had a trip together to the amusement park and did a small surprise to all of the teachers (was it small? Hehehehe..) Yea, we acted like kindergarten children throughout the day. Well actually, we did that for three or four days. Wahhhh!!! I miss you guys a lotttttttttttttt!!! Anyway, I think I really had a good time in this year as I was already free from those irritating seniors. Oh! Then the unforgettable experience: Live-in. In this program, all of the students had to live in a remote village for 5 days (was it 5 or 3? I forgot already). Some of them experienced sleeping or taking shower beside a cow, some ppl experienced taking shower in the river, and some ppl even experienced not taking shower at all during the entire program! Hehehehe... That sounded disgusting. Keep in mind that I took shower everyday =P Another thing I experienced was going to a rice field and becoming a seller in a very small shop (In Indonesian we call it 'warung').

In the third year, I got into the Natural Science class. Math, Chemistry, Physics, and Biology had been our daily meal. Hehehehe... I had another enjoyable year, but at that time I was very busy and my mind couldn't stop thinking about how I could memorize all those stuffs for the final exams. I also had to apply to a lot of universities and do various tests and write some essays for the application requirements. Hmmm... I think I already told the story about my final high school year in my past post, so I won't continue any further.

Now, it's about the Graduation Day. We did some practice for the graduation ceremony, but at that time we heard some gossips that there were a few ppl who didn't manage to graduate. Most of the students were in panic, some of them even cried. Early in the morning (was it early? hehehehe...) around 10, with cold hands we were waiting for the graduation announcement. What I had prayed everyday came true! All of us managed to graduate! YeaY! So in the evening we proudly walked into the ceremony hall accompanied by the marching band. We received our yearbooks and medals, and I also got a trophy! Hehehehe... After that the teachers sang a farewell song for us. It was so touching, all of us cried while listening to it. After that, we did an inaugural 'returning the students to their parents', so the parents put off the hat and the tie that we wore. Then we had dinner and the event continued to some kind of informal party. It was closed by singing a farewell song together with hand in hand. Ohh... recalling this makes my tears roll down. I miss you, miss you, miss you!

Cute Monkey



This is my cute little monkey. I found it in Taman Safari (a combination of safari, zoo, and amusement park), Puncak - West Java and brought it home. It always sat in front of my house waiting for me to get back from school. Hehehehe... Just kidding. I didn't lie about the location where I found this monkey, but I didn't bring it home for sure. Stealing animals from there is prohibited, also my mom didn't like to have pet since my sisters and I were so lazy to take care of it. Anyway, do you agree that this monkey, especially its pose, is so cute? My boyfriend and Mr. DL didn't, but I really think that this is so cute and not disgusting at all ^^

The picture was taken by either my dad, myself, or my sister. I don't remember -__-;;

Wednesday, December 1, 2004

A Drop of Colour

Today's song will be a Drop of Colour, an original soundtrack of Kewaishi sung by HYDE. The lyrics have a powerful meaning, check it out!



Confusion rules this shifting age
And uproar fills the town
My thoughts of you are drowning in the night
How could you know?
Why should you know me?

You gently nourish my dry skin
A drop of colour saves me from the fate I'm facing everyday
A single bloom
Piercing the snowdrift

How softly the springtime breezes sing
How deeply the distant mountain breath
There are so many things to show to you

Oh why does hate bring forth more hate?
A long abandoned fruit is hastening the process of decay
This country's starved
It's void of feeling

How softly the springtime breezes sing
How deeply the distant mountain breath
There are so many things to show to you
One of these days
Oh breezes sing
How deeply the distant mountain breath
There are so many things to show to you


(c)2002 Lyrics and music by HYDE, Haunted Records