Sunday, October 30, 2005

lepas... hilang sudah...

pelan-pelan...
tanpa kau sadari...
aku melepaskan diri...

lambat laun...
tanpa dia sadari...
aku melepaskan diri...

jauh...
lama sudah...
aku hilang...

meski kau sesali...
meski dia sesali...
aku tak'kan kembali...

Once you lose me, you will lose me forever...

Friday, September 23, 2005

a lil poem

to taste a sweetness just to taste a bitterness is just too painful
to clash with Your way is just too sorrowful
shouldn't open my way yet it was joyful
shouldn't regret the path yet it was miserable
can't stay in but can't let go
still no options are left to choose
when the road shows the final shape
this heart can sense where it leads
flood of tears fills the lake
yet the sun is shining so bright
the unfairness of the world is just an eternal fact

Saturday, September 10, 2005

pilm

Baru nonton 'Kicking and Screaming', langsung jatuh cinta sama Francesco Liotti. Ahhhhhhh cakepppp!!! Jadi inget sama Alessandro Nesta. Orang Italy, kiyut, jago maen bola. Gile tuh anak kalo udah gede asal ga aneh-aneh pasti cakepnya oke banget tuh. Ahakssss bermimpi deh saya.

Lagi nyari-nyari picnya dia, susah bener! Malah dapetnya Harry Potter 4. Orangnya buruk-buruk ah. Si Voldemort ajah kalo rambutnya dibenerin ada kemungkinan cakep. Cho Chang juga lumayan cantik. Nih kalo mo liat
klik di sini.

Monday, August 1, 2005

Why do guys like girls?

This is a forwarded email from Cort. Thanks Cort!

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:
  1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo

  2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder

  3. How cute they look when they sleep

  4. The ease in which they fit into our arms

  5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

  6. How cute they are when they eat

  7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while

  8. Because they are always warm even when it's minus 30 outside

  9. The way they look good no matter what they wear

  10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth

  11. How cute they are when they argue

  12. The way her hand always finds yours

  13. The way they smile

  14. The way you feel when you see their name on the caller ID after you just had a big fight

  15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....

  16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them

  17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"

  18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...

  19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry

  20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly

  21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

  22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it)!

  23. The way they say "I miss you"

  24. The way you miss them

  25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.....


Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons. No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.


Number 8 is definitely not true for me, who is considered as a cold-blooded person. Hihihi... Oh! They should put another point: 26. The way she gives you cute nickname. Huehuehueheuheu.... =P

For the truth value of the rest, ask the guys! Ciao!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

peristiwa dan mimpi buruk

Akhir-akhir ini gue lagi sering mimpi buruk. Dua hari yang lalu, gue mimpi lagi dapet tugas ngecet tembok rumah orang bareng 2 orang temen. Tiba-tiba di depan rumah ada kasus pembunuhan, kalo ga salah sih penembakan. Berhubung rumah yang kita cet itu berkaca jendela jernih cemerlang dan besar sekali, itu kasus keliatan jelas banget. Parahnya, tuh pembunuh juga bisa ngeliat dengan jelas kita bertiga sebagai saksi mata. Maka larilah kita untuk menyelamatkan diri. Jadi inti mimpinya kita dikejer-kejer mo dibunuh karena jadi saksi mata. Hiiii... serem banget deh.

Trus besok malemnya gue mimpi buruk lagi. Jadi gue lagi naek mobil sama cowok gue, trusan di belakang mobil kita tau-tau ada mobil polisi. Kita langsung dag-dig-dug gitu berhubung ada status ilegal karena mobil ga berasuransi. Ga tau gimana cowok gue nerobos lampu merah ya akhirnya si polisi ngejer kita deh. Lha makin takut aja toh soalnya kalo ketangkep pasti diperiksa segala macemnya trus hukuman bisa nambah kalo ketauan semua-muanya. Akhirnya cowok gue tancep gas trus jadi kaya di pilm-pilm kejar-kejaran sama polisi gitu. Status gue jadi buron deh... Nyampe di asrama yang ga jelas itu di mana, gue baru nyadar kalo tuh polisi ternyata tinggal di satu gedung yang sama kaya gue. Gyaaaa!!! Gawat, parah!!! Gue sama cowok gue pisah. Gue ngabur nyari tempat persembunyian di asrama, cowok gue cabut pake mobil ke tempat laen. Berhubung tuh polisi tau nomer kamar gue, jadilah dia mengejar daku. Ah malangnya nasibku... Tapi saya berhasil lolos dari kejeran setelah ngumpet di bawah selimut. Hihihi... Kesiannn de lo....

Ga taunya mimpi buruknya ga sampe di situ aja, malahan makin aneh menjadi-jadi. Tau-tau setelah ngabur dan kembali ke aktivitas sehari-hari, gue masuk sekolah pas ada exam di kelasnya Prof. R. Hihihi... Kangen kali ya gue ama dia sampe bisa muncul di alam bawah sadar gue. Oke kembali ke mimpi gue, cara ngerjain exam-nya lebih aneh bujubuneng lagi. Kan pilihan ganda tuh, bukannya nyilangin atau ngitemin buletan-buletan atau lonjongan-lonjongan, malahan masing-masing nomor jawabannya ditulis di sehelai kertas. Abis itu kertas-kertasnya ditaro di atas lante aja, tapi lantenya uda dikasi nomor-nomor gitu, jadi naro kertasnya disusun rapi sesuai nomor-nomor di lantai. Eh tau-tau ada angin bertiup kencang sekali, bunyinya 'syuuur...' dan kertas-kertas gue beterbangan dan ga karu-karuan posisinya. Nomor 1 jadi di tempat nomor 2, nomor 2 jadi di nomor 3, dan seterusnya. Lebih parah lagi, tau-tau bel berbunyi, menandakan waktu telah berakhir, jadi gue ga bisa ngebenerin dan alhasil nilai gue jelek buanget. Ehhh profesornya marah gitu gue dapet jelek, malah nilai-nilai gue yang dulunya udah bagus ikut-ikutan diturunin. Lha sebel kan nilai akhir gue jadi burukkk!!!

Setelah mimpi, kemaren peristiwa buruk bener-bener terjadi. Gue lagi maen internet di perpustakaan. Trusan baru inget kalo harus nge-print catetan geografi. Pas gue nge-print, ada ibu-ibu udah tua berdiri di belakang gue gitu sambil ngomong 'excuse me'. Gue kira tuh ibu mo nge-print juga, lantas gue mikir nih ibu gimana sih padahal printer yang ga dipake ada satu lagi tepat di sebelahnya. Pas lagi nunggu hasil printing-an gue, gue minggir ngasi jalan buat tuh ibu biar dia bisa nge-print. Eh setelah gue perhatiin, kok si ibu engga ngapa-ngapain tapi cuma ngeliatin gue. Wahhh perasaan jadi ga enak nih. Karena rasa ingin tau dan engga nyaman yang besar, gue akhirnya memberanikan diri bertanya, 'Can I help you?'. Si ibu jawab, 'No. I'm just looking at you.' Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh... ketakutan gue makin menjadi-jadi! Nih ibu apa maunya sih??? Berhubung saat itu mood gue lagi ga narsis, jadi gue ngerasa engga nyaman banget. Pas gue balik ke tempat duduk, si ibu juga balik ke komputer yang dia pake di seberang gue. Gue langsung siap siaga, jangan-jangan si ibu mo nyuri apa-apanya gue, atau jangan-jangan dia mo ngehipnotis gue. Langsung HP en dompet gue jaga banget-banget, trus sedia pensil kalo-kalo gue ngerasa terhipnotis biar gue tusuk aja jari gue supaya sadar lagi. Trus gue plirak-plirik, si ibu masih di situ. Akhirnya gue berusaha fokus sama maen internet sampe akhirnya ga terasa udah 2 jam dan si ibu telah pergi. Gue periksa tas lagi, dompet sama HP masih ada pada tempatnya, gue menghela napas lega. But the intention of that woman still remains a mystery until now...

diversity and morality

WARNING!!! The content below may not be suitable for some people. Therefore bear in mind that the purpose of this post is solely for expressing my personal thoughts and opinions, no more than that. I'm not responsible for any reactions or behaviors that resulted from this post. Comments are still acceptable as long as they are presented in appropriate ways.

I've always wondered why diversity exists in this world as if it is very useful. We have learned since we were little kids that diversity (hopefully) enriches our world and our lives. But, does it really work that way? Through my observations and my own experiences, I've learned that it works in the opposite way instead. A lot of conflicts and riots happen because of the diversity itself, especially the cultural and religious clashes. Diversity limits our movements and our relationships with other people.

As for my religion, I've never questioned its value before. I do believe in my religion even until now. But I find some disconnection between the two sides that have been taught and rooted inside of me. I've never tried to blend science and religion into one sense, as I know it won't ever work at all. Yet, a study about morality that usually agrees on religion also denies all of it. I know that I wasn't good on it, and I always thought it was a useless subject, but there are some things that have been embedded deep in my heart and in my mind. 12 years of studying PPKn, I remembered clearly the basic things such as "don't force a religion on someone." I'm pretty sure all of the Indonesians remember this too. However, that's just merely a theory, isn't it? Easier said than done. For instance some religions restrict people of having some benefits if they marry others of different religions. Even worse, some religions also forbid people to marry others of certain religions. Don't you feel it's wrong? Contradicting the theory, those 'rules' indirectly force people to have some certain religions. I also feel the urge from people around me to make my prospective partner believe in my religion, otherwise I ought to find and marry another guy of the same religion. To be honest, I'm pissed off. So what's the point of penetrating those morality doctrines in my early years then? Why don't you just say everything honestly straight from the very beginning?

I know that the world would be dull if there was always a unity in every living aspect. Still, our world is too diverse that it can't take it anymore. The vision of having one single religion, language, or even culture throughout the entire world seems so blissful to me, though I know it won't be the perfect condition too. At any rate, I just want a harmony around me, at least around people whom I love. Is it possible???

Again, this is only a thought that needs to be expressed. No offense to anyone. Peace!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Phil

There is this someone, a daily customer of the coffee shop that I work at, who always buys short coffee. He is quite friendly and likes to tease people. Once he tried to memorize the workers' name and he asked for my nick name coz he thought my name was too long. On the next day he forgot my name already. So here is how our conversation went... M = Mr. somebody (hehehe... I forgot his name too), P = me.

M : Hi Ms. D!
Ms. D : Hi!
M : *looking at me* Ummm... let's see... *thinking* Ummmm......... *thinking deeper* Ummmmmmmmmmmm... *thinking deepest* I'm sorry, I forgot your name. I couldn't remember at all.
P : Hehehe... Pei.
M : What's that?
P : My name is Pei.
M : Oh! Philly!
P : No, it's Pei.
M : Who? Phiiii...
P : It's 'Pe'.
M : Pppppp...
P : Peeeee...
M : Pppppe?
P : Yea, Peeee...i
M : Yeah, I got it! *smiling brightly* Philly!
P : (Haihhhh... *saying in my mind*) Yea, anything that's easy for you. *gave up already*
M : Yeah! Phil! I'll just call you Phil!
P : Huh???
M : Ms. D and Phil! Ms. D and Phil!

Since that day he always calls me Phil -___- And so there are 2 Phil in my workplace: The Great Phil and The Phil Jr. -> me. Hehehehe... This is crazy! I don't know what the real Phil would say if he knows about this.

Anyway, some people are wondering why I put L'Arc InsuranceTM on the last post's title. That's because I used the phrase 'Accident happens suddenly'. The phrase appeared in L'Arc~en~Ciel concert in Budokan around 1994 or 1995 when hyde was still pretty. hydeeeeeeeeee I love you!!!! Hehehehe... *Hopefully somebody is not jealous* =P Back to the concert thing, ken-chan suddenly fell down during the 'Blurry Eyes' song, and after that there was this commercial info about L'Arc InsuranceTM. Hahahahha... The funny thing was that ken could still laugh even when he was in the 'fell down' position. ken oh ken, so funny...



Breaking news! I was talking to someone and he was so happy to hear that my new Laruku album hadn't arrived yet. Right after I hung up the phone, the doorbell rang. It was the postwoman! She delivered my new L'Arc~en~Ciel album, AWAKE!!! YeaY!!! The design of the album is a little bit disappointing actually, but since the songs are great, and I love hyde very much (This is more like the main reason. Hehehehe...), so I forgive them! Hehehehe... Go go Laruku!!! Go go hyde!!! I am listening to my favorite song 'Jyoujyoushi' rite now. Oh by the way, that someone whom I was talking to before, said that he wouldn't enjoy the songs coz he didn't understand the meaning of the lyrics. He said it would just be a bunch of cang cing cung ceng cong (-> must be a revenge of what I said. Hehehehe...). Gotcha!!! I even have the Chinese meaning rite now! All of the lyrics! Special for you! Hehehehe...

Okay, I want to continue listening to Laruku again. Ttyl...